Hi all… have a sexy evening, & be sure to stop by Wednesday for my latest erotic short story! Read this on my website or below. PLUS! If you haven’t yet, read this Friday’s Top 10 “That’s What She Said!” Moments at Work!
Position of the Week: Crouching Tigress
What it is: a sultry come-from-behind move that gives you both a workout and seriously amazing penetration.
How to do it:
Get her to stand in front you with her knees bent, like in a squat position, but with her upper body angled forward slightly, leaning on or against a surface (e.g. a stool, counter, or wall). As you thrust into her, get her to bend and extend her knees at the same rhythm, so that you are both moving up and down in synchrony with each other. Try to keep your pace slow, teasing and tantric. If your lady is vertically challenged (i.e., short), get her to wear heels to even out the height difference!
Why it’s hot:
Continuously varying the angle and degree of penetration while you move slowly with each other is intimate and erotic at the same time, which she’ll love. Plus, your deliberately drawn-out pace will ensure her pleasure, and can keep you from blowing your load a bit too early…
How to kink it up:
Reach in front of her to stroke her clit (and fondle her breasts) while you pump your hips upwards (and downwards) into her. If she’s down, get her to bring her vibrator out from its secret hiding-place and use it to stimulate her clit while you pump into her from behind (you’ll feel it, too!). She won’t be able to resist the combination of sensations… and her moans will drown out the sounds of her little toy. You can entice her to show you how she plays with herself when you’re not around! Sounds like a win-win situation…
Click here to check out more of my sex positions!
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com/
Hi everyone! Welcome back! Here’s Friday’s Top 10 List. Read it below or check it out on my website! Enjoy!
Top 10 “That’s What She Said!” Moments at Work
10. (Referring to a colleague’s pen)
“I think it exploded in your pocket…”
9. “I can’t believe you won the office football pool this week.”
“Easiest fifty bucks I ever made.”
8. “Where do you want it sent?”
“It’s best if you deliver it in the back door, if you can squeeze it through the slot.”
7. “So yesterday’s agenda get recycled and the new one goes where?”
“Come on, use your head and figure out where to stick it!”
6. (The computer technician on the phone with an office assistant about a plug.)
“You have to pull out the big black one, but be careful. You could get quite a shock.”
5. “Do you think the boss is pissed off?”
“Well he DID pull out of there pretty quick.”
4. “You’d better clean up that coffee you spilled!”
“You actually want me to get down on my knees to do it in front of everyone?”
3. (A boss to her male employee, who’s trying impatiently to show her a paper.)
“Stop waving that thing in my face!”
2. (Replacing printer toner)
“Try jamming it up in there as far as you can. All the way up to your elbow.”
1. “What if we want to enter a new market?”
“You have to penetrate it properly the first time, or else it’ll never open up for you again.”
If you haven’t yet, check out my first ever published erotic poem, Untitled, here or on my website!
Have a great weekend; stop by Sunday for another hot sex position of the week!
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com
Well, hi there.
From now on, every four weeks on Wednesdays, I will be publishing an erotic poem (either from the past, or recent). I’ve had some demand for it from some of my creative counterparts, and I love poetry.
Read Untitled (below or on my site), written by Danielle (yes, that luscious schoolgirl from the Screw U(niversity) series is based on an actual person) & I! This one was penned out of the blue, while we were bored in English class in high school, analyzing Shakespearean literature for the umpteenth time.
Enjoy, & please DO let me know what you think! The writing in Bold is Lexi (moi!) & the rest is Danielle.
Untitled (written in 2002)
Boredom prevails in my mind.
Mine as well
Doth boredom grows.
With a shallow breath
I doth see fault in this analysis.
Oh, what pleasure it would give me to protest
But I fear that desire will go untamed.
Evil consumes thee, concealed by your beauty
Thou shalt be resting in tranquil thought.
Thoughts of death consume my mind.
End my suffering, I am distraught.
My jaded composure is comparable to yours,
Thou art the reflection of mine own emotions.
Art thou as impressionable as other youth
To allow for such contemptuous thoughts to unfold?
Images of my vices pervade me,
Thirsting for chocolate o’er my tongue.
I doth protest!
(Such vulgarity doth appease me…)
Such crudity from a creature so fair,
Maiden of virtue, where art thou morals?
They seemeth to have deserted me,
Do not contest, leave me be.
I shall if only I reap the benefits,
Lie with me, righteous maiden, sate me,
As surely as you would melt atop a man
Whose meat doth pleasure your insatiable hunger.
You do beseech me,
An act so impure cannot suffice.
A man may not subdue my need
Yet a woman may question all values fair.
Thou art of right nature
You temptest men from afar
From near you rebuff fair advance
By castration of the verbal sort.
And you, who by thine own lips admit
Refuse abstinence and indulge in Satan’s game.
Art thou not ashamed?
Praising virtue, yet condemning it all the same?
Thy exude confidence in my capacity
To woo the likes of men all sorts.
Yes, thy may be of purest faith,
But unbeknownst to some, of dirtiest sin.
Words of caution echo in your mind
Yet you choose to ignore those who wish to be kind.
My desire leaves me ravenous and feisty,
My need, no longer a game, but a provision.
To you, bold maiden, I profess my celibacy
Discipline me under thine own supervision.
Let me know what you think…& click here to read some of my short erotic stories!
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com
Welcome back… here’s Friday’s new Top 10 list! Read it below or on my website! Plus, if you missed it, check out this week’s erotic short, Best Laid Plans, here or on my website.
Top 10 Reasons Why it’s Great to be a Man
(Other than the ability to pee standing up…)
10. You can watch TV in silence with your buddies without them worrying you’re secretly mad at them.
9. You don’t have to lug a bag of useless stuff around wherever you go.
8. If a friend calls on the fly to go out, it only takes five minutes for you to get ready. Shower included.
7. You don’t care if no one notices you just got a new haircut.
6. Hot wax never comes near your genitalia.
5. You can have sex with someone even if you can’t stand them. And laugh about it later without feeling the slightest bit guilty.
4. You think online videos of other guys pulling pranks on their friends are hilarious. Watching the replay of the victim’s reaction for the third consecutive time is even funnier.
3. You won’t kill another man for showing up at your party wearing the same outfit as you.
2. If you forget your buddy’s birthday, he’ll likely shrug it off instead of mentally plotting ways to humiliate you.
1. Gray hair, wrinkles and a blasé attitude about life make you seem distinguished and sexy.
Check out more Top 10 lists!
See you Sunday for my latest Position of the Week!
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com
Have a sexy weekend, everyone… try this move out tonight! Read it here or on my newly improved website!
What it is: A fusion of gymnastics into your repertoire that gives a creative twist to a usual favorite move.
How to do it:
Find yourself a surface flat and firm enough on which to do a handstand. You can do a headstand if you feel more comfortable (try a pillow), and if it height-wise your pelvises will be more aligned. Get him to stand up in front of you (either with you facing his legs or facing away from him). Bring your legs up in the air in and let him grab them, keeping them spread. As he thrusts downward into you, try looping your legs around his waist (if height permits).
Why it’s hot:
Since you can try it two ways (facing him or away), you can alternate between the angles of penetration and increase the intensity of him hitting your G-spot.
How to kink it up:
For a better view and to increase the intimacy, face away from him and prop up a mirror. Try out the black high-heeled boots for this one… start off with a sexy lap dance, or put on a little cheerleader or schoolgirl outfit for him. Sure, it’s stereotypical, but never underestimate the power of role playing…
Check out more Positions of the Week right here!
See you Wednesday for my latest erotic story, or read last week’s seductive sequel, All The Queen’s Men, Part II!
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com
Happy Friday, everyone!
Read this week’s Top 10 Naughty Error Messages on my newly revamped website!
10. DISK FULL! Press ESC to abort, or wait nine months to continue.
9. The website www.free-escorts.com does not exist. Click here to try www.dark-alleys-behind-bars.com instead.
8. No wireless detected. Please activate webcam, remove clothes slowly, and retry.
7. Warning: internal pressure must be relieved, or system will crash and stack will output all over your keyboard.
6. You have violated the license terms by trying to operate three of the same program at once. Eject disk immediately. Entering sleep mode.
5. Trial expired! Now you have to pay to play. Upgrade to gold bandwidth or get replaced by a richer, more reliable user.
4. FATAL ERROR: YOU’RE INFECTED! by @badporn-download@69. FULL QUARANTINE IMMEDIATELY. SHOULD HAVE USED A FIREWALL, PERVERT!
3. Warning: Cannot move “florida-bikini-pic-1″. Image too ugly. Get rid of bad memory? (Y/N)
2. Cannot detect power cord. Jack it differently or plug it in another hole.
1. Process “blow.exe”: no such job. Manual override in progress…
Hope you enjoyed 
Click here to read some of my other Top 10 lists!
New Position of the Week this Sunday… check back for more.
Lexi
www.lexisylver.com
